£1,600 down, one Cert TESOL certificate up

After five whole weeks in Aber, I’ve finally earned my Cert TESOL teaching qualification and am now free to go out into the big, wide world to unleash my wacky lessons upon the English learning public.

Friday night was expected, but upsetting for a few as one by one, our numbers dwindled. Saturday morning was even worse, with everybody running around like headless chickens packing away our stuff, we all had to say our farewells one at a time.

I have had an amazing Summer where I’ve not only found out a lot about others, but also about myself. I found out Sam, despite her strong exterior, is really a sensitive soul on the inside. Jane is the coolest mum I have ever met and you really wouldn’t know that without speaking to her at length. Heather has such a strong sense of justice and stands her ground if it’s challenged. And Lis, despite being the youngest in House 171 is quite possibly the most mature, keeping everybody on the straight and narrow if we ever faltered.

I’m now on a mission to start teaching ASAP. Japan is the destination and I’ll be concentrating all my efforts into getting myself out there. A big thank you to everybody that helped me on this journey, it has gone down in history for me.

TESOL adventure

Christ! Has it really been several months since my last proper blog entry?! I have a lengthy one for all of you to read to make up for my neglect.

Well, three weeks in and I’m still alive and not phased at all about becoming an English teacher. It’s been absolutely manic, with 4 hours of sleep each night, lesson planning, teaching, assignments, marking, and personal tuition. Oh, and our weekly night out getting absolutely wankered with my fellow trainee teachers and students on Corona and Jagerbombs!

I have the priviledge of living with 4 girls and as the man of the house, it’s up to me to take care of such duties as making fire and hunting. Actually, scratch the last two and replace them with making the internets work and killing spiders and other creepy-crawlies and you get the idea. We all get along famously and after only a week, we all felt like we’d known each other for years with our own in-jokes and codes for speaking.

Let’s start with the lineup:

The first housemate I met was Sam, when I scared the shit out of her on night one. She’d moved in quietly whilst I was out having dinner with Alan and Lisa and upon my return, I hollered “Helloooo?” only to receive nothing in return. Several minutes later, I saw a figure come out of the darkness downstairs and proceeded to say “hi” only for Sam to jump out of her skin. Sam is like the older, wiser sister for me. We’re both smokers so we keep each other company outside the house when we’re furiously planning lessons in the middle of the night. She’s an Aber graduate like too so we show the others the sights and sounds of our favourite sleepy sea-side town. She’s also a fellow victim of redundancy and took the same decision as I to explore the world a bit whilst the economy is on its knees.

On the following day, Lis was the second housemate to arrive. Having only recently returned from a teaching assistant job in Spain on her year abroad, she wanted to complete the course before she graduated next year so she could get a job lined up. Lis is like the little sister I never had, a role she has perfected with her own older brothers over the course of twenty-one years. We play practical jokes on other housemates: we managed to trick two of them into believing that one of our housemates had moved out due to a guy on our course giving her unwanted attention when really, all she had done was move into a spare room upstairs. She’s also my fellow piss-head, staying out with me until 3am on our nights out and was my partner in crime when we infiltrated the Jewish stronghold that had been setup in PJM.

The next housemate was Heather, everybody’s favourite Canadian. Having returned temporarily from an aupair job in Italy to complete the course, she has aspirations of teaching English to children. Studious and elegant, she has an air of nobility about her but beneath this veneer is a warm-hearted girl who’s just dying to have fun (we sang Weird Al’s eBay song whilst drunk, walking back home). Ever helpful and good natured, she’s perfect to teach younger learners. She was also core to our practical joke, walking into the kitchen after we’d told the house that she’d dropped out of the course, causing everybody to do a double-take after five seconds of standing there.

The final housemate to arrive was Jane. Deciding that she wanted to work whilst she traveled, she shares many of our reasons for ponying up the best part of £1600 to be able to work one’s arse off. Whilst a lot older than us all, she still knows how to have a laugh and is world-wise; she’s the crazy aunt that would introduce you to your first joint or buy you a stripper for your birthday! She’s usually always out with us and has a wicked sense of humour that always cracks the entire house up.

We’re only a small part of a much larger lineup of trainee teachers, who are all fantastic to work with. All our tutors have told us all that we’re the most close-knit group they’ve had in a very long time. The students themselves can see how united we all are and it shows in our lessons, with one flowing seamlessly into another.

In my teaching group, there’s Enzo, Kay and Hannah. Enzo just recently returned from teaching in Japan for two years and would like qualifications to go further in the field. Kay is a local from Aber and has been like a mother to all of us on the course, inspiring us all to be creative and consoling us when things haven’t gone right. Hannah is one half of a couple on our course and has the most eclectic fashion sense I’ve seen for a long time (think Madonna during the 80s).

The next teaching group consists of Heather and Lis who I’ve already mentioned, and are complimented by Richard and Edward. Richard is possibly one of the most laid back people I have ever met. He rarely lets his emotions get the better of him and along with myself, we’ve been teaching our students colloquial English (“quid”, “minger”, “fittie”, and “battyman” to name but a few) which they’ve all appreciated. He also shares a liking for Borat with me which seems to have permeated the entire student body of the language school… He’s my comrade in wearing suits to teach and damn, do we look sharp together. And then there’s Edward from Romania. We’re not sure why he’s on the course because he’s expressed that he doesn’t want to become an English teacher and has “higher aspirations” in mind. He also pervs at Lis and Heather which gets me lairy most of the time.

The last teaching group consists of Sam and Jane from my house, and are bolstered by Trystan and Pat. Trystan is the other half of our couple in the group and was born to be a teacher; he even has a fascination for tweed and extremely loud ties which sits him firmly in teacherdom. He taught English for a year in favellas in Brazil and is a keen Spanish learner and has the best Welsh accent ever. Pat is an older lady from Aber that wants to teach in Spain when she and her husband retire. A very gentle lady, like Heather she would be perfect to teach younger learners.

My group and I were dropped in at the deep end with the advanced group of students who are a formidable unit. Their English is only a few notches beneath that of a native speaker so it’s much harder to plan a lesson based around refinement as opposed to learning something entirely new. They warmed to me early on since I’d gone out drinking with a lot of them, and my lessons are focussed more on discussions as opposed to trying to forcefeed them with what they may not actually want or need. I’ve just recently finished teaching my advanced group and will be moving on to an intermediate level consisting mostly of Spanish girls; they’re a feisty bunch from what I’ve seen of them so far in my lesson observations. Unlike the advanced group though, their level of English is considerably lower and so they’re more like empty sponges, waiting to soak up any and every bit of English that you throw at them. They’re incredibly competive as a group, and respond very well to games, which I’ve been dying to utilise in my lessons for weeks.

My time in Aber has flown by in the blink of an eye with only two weeks left. I have met people from all walks of life and am proud to call them all friends. Feeling like I was missing something inside, I seem to have found what I was looking for. The world is certainly getting smaller, but for me, there is still so much more world to see.

Everything has a price

Saw a very interesting movie-documentary last night after seeing it recommended on a blog.  The documentary, “The Great Happiness Space: Tale of an Osaka Love Thief”, focuses on a host club in Osaka, Japan and its founder, Issei.  Renowned as the number one host in Osaka, he has an endless list of clients willing to lavish their time, attention, and bank balances on him, raking in at least £15, 000 a month.  Fans of Japanorama will be familiar with the industry, where well groomed blokes tend to women’s needs and try to push them into buying overpriced drinks.

The documentary is shot in a low budget, amateur-ish manner but I found this gave it charm and a realism which is all too easily lost with higher budget productions.  Various members of the host club staff are also interviewed and it’s fascinating to go through such a range of emotions for them, from anger, to envy, to sympathy.  It doesn’t appear to be an easy life, and whilst it is sales, most of the best salesmen I know and work with couldn’t do it.  The customers are equally as interesting, exploring the reasons why they keep returning, and the depths they will go to to get their moments of instant gratification.

Definitely worth a watch, I found my torrent for it on Pirate Bay.

In other news, it seems Aber is finally getting a shopping centre!  Cue all the moaning people complaining that it’s gonna drive people out of business, blah blah.

Ah nostalgia, it ain’t what it used to be

Sammy-boy’s birthday was rolling up quickly and since it’d been a good six months or so since I last saw him, I decided to round up my partners in crime whilst at the school of management and business.  Several texts and calls later, Sammy-boy, Andy C, and I agreed to meet up in Manchester for some good old fashioned fun and frolicks.  “Why Manchester?”, I hear you cry.  Well, Andy C now works and lives there and since Sam is from further up North and I generally rather like Manchester, that’s how the decision was reached.

I got to Manchester for about 11:45am where I got slightly lost because Andy C’s place doesn’t have a number for the building and I fell a few blocks short.  He came to my rescue with Sam in tow and we made our way to his apartment complex’s private carpark (ooooh!).  He lives in a really snazzy place, as you can see from my photos of the day.  The rent is decent and the apartment is modern and has a very hotel-ish feel to it, though there are 4 people living there when it’s meant to be for 3…

Now, I’ve been to Manchester many a time to visit my brother and he always takes me to his usual haunts which usually consist of Deansgate, the Arndale, and the Trafford Centre; Andy took us to his stomping grounds and there was a huge contrast!  We went to a funky bookshop which bore more than a similar resemblence to a little boutique in London’s Soho called Playtime.  They had loads of Totoro stuff and the girl behind the counter was awesomely cute.  Andy C took us to a Forbidden Planet which I was quite impressed with because it was one of the more indie ones as opposed to the commercial ones like the one in Birmingham or London; still didn’t buy anything though!

Since I was rocking my SLR camera, Andy C decided to show me the best view in Manchester, and it was free too.  We made our way up to the top floor of a multistorey carpark near the Arndale where we were greeted by what looked like a drug deal between some of Manchester’s finest reprobates.  All three of us genuinely feared for our lives there but they allowed us to pass without concern to see what I can only describe as breathtaking.  I was able to see for miles and it very much reminded me of being on top of Constitution Hill in Aber; it was a moment of tranquility and escape from the hustle and bustle of a major metropolitan centre.  I don’t think there’s anything similar in Brum which is a damn shame.

We were all ravenous after our dose of passive ganja and decided lunch was the order of the day now.  Andy C took us t a funky bar which I can only describe as eclectic; the staff, decor, and menu were all so varied that it seemed like the sort of place that would have thrived in Aber with the right marketing behind it.  Sammy-boy had a highly recommended kedgeree, I had a very rich cornedbeef hash (I also made the joke that I’d not had enough hashish that day…), and Andy C had a massive “doorstop” sandwich.  The good food featured alongside good conversation; I would often loiter at Andy C and Sammy-boy’s house in my third year and we’d regularly just talk about everything and the kitchen sink.  We all agreed unanimously how we missed the spontaneity of student life, how you could decide the outcome of a day in the blink of an eye compared to now where it would take at least a week’s worth of planning and notice.

We had a quick goosey-gander in the Arndale where I bought a few new shirts and ties for work, and as per usual, struggled finding stuff in my size.  We popped into a Waterstones where I left Sammy-boy in the sports books section; he didn’t realise I’d walked off and continued to have a dialogue with himself, much to the puzzlement of a passing woman and my amusement.  We were all quite quenched at this point so after a few quick photos by the townhall, we popped into a very quiet Starbucks for some liquid replenishment.  We sat outside to entertain my path to self-destruction by smoking.  It was a nice way to just while away an hour or so, just kicking back without a whim in the world, and being the quieter part of the city, we were able to get up to our usual shenanigans without much as an eyelid batted at us.

We were struggling for things to do at this point since nobody really had anything particular in mind that they needed to see or do.  We eventually agreed to visit Selfridges where we had a mooch through the foodhall and technology section, which didn’t really set our worlds alight.  We passed through China town next, which seems far more alive at night than in the day, a complete contrast to Birmingham’s own.  Andy C took us down for a walk by the canals which had some lovely photo opportunities and this was also my chance to try out my Michael Jackson jokes on the pair – fresh meat!  We stopped for a few drinks at Rain Bar which was a funky place with a good selection of drinks, especially bitters, on offer.  The conversation was as mixed and varied as before and it was just nice to catch up with two of Denver’s finest.  Sadly, Sammy-boy had to work the next day and I had a fairly long drive ahead of me so we had to call it quits at 8:30pm.  I managed to catch the sunset just before I left Andy C’s apartment which affords a fantastic view from the balcony, which really made my day.

I got to see a very different side to Manchester and I’m now firm in the opinion that it is very much the UK’s second city despite being a Brummie myself.  It feels more like a city should and is very much a smaller version of London, with all of its colourful districts where the transition from one to the next is very clear.  Birmingham needs to step up its game to compete!

Photos of my day can be found here.

Le weekend

I find it quite funny how there’s no word or phrase in the French language to describe the weekend, so they had to go and nick ours.

Anywho, today was the first day in absolutely ages where I just lazed around the house.  My folks had gone out for the day and I was able to have a lie-in until 9:30am (working makes your body clock so regular, it’s unreal) and generally didn’t do very much.  I finally finished my best man speech which is winging its way to Chikara for translation.  I really hope it goes down a treat, I’ve infused it with my own sort of style and feel it reflects my thoughts well.

Yesterday, James and I went to Aber for Gérard’s birthday bash in honour of him turning 30.  We got into Aber for around 4:30pm and found a lovely parking space just opposite the house where the dumb-ass fell out of the window whilst mooning people on the street below.  The party itself was good, got catch up with Mike and Ste, and got to talk to Minako who I’d only ever spoken to briefly before.  I also discovered my nicotine limit is 3 cigarettes if my stomach is full; if it’s empty then I can easily chain smoke 10 or so before I feel ill.  I got Gérard a copy of Howard the Duck on DVD which Jim-Bob called the “best-worst present ever”.

Awesome weekend no.2

Something must be wrong for as the title suggests, I’ve had a second fantastic weekend.

Mike and I went to Aber for the annual AnimeSoc BBQ which was a pleasure to attend as always.  I drove and Mike got to witness the marketing manager-ness at work whilst I received a number of calls from angry punters who had vans in with us for servicing.  Anywho, we got into Aber rather early and stocked up at Morrisons and bumped into Rob, which proved it was still the same place!  We parked up by the Luxemburg flag and made our way to Gérard and Kasia’s house with icecreams in hand.

It was a strange sensation to see so many members who I didn’t recognise but I have a feeling the society is in good hands and should last a while longer.  We joked about how somethings never change and reminisced about stories of AnimeSoc’s most famous characters.

Sunday was spent having a super big lunch at the Kings Hall Carvery.  The drive back to Brum was pleasant enough but my car was absolutely caked in bug splats and seagull shit.

I would go three weekends for three but I need to catch up on sleep…

Appudaito!

Righty-ho, as promised this will be a mammoth update!

Career

As most of you have known for a while, I have left Kalamazoo for greener pastures at Volksvagen. I will be a marketing assistant as of Tuesday and have been promised to have a lot more responsibility. Apparently, they’ll be sending me to the Volkswagen factory in Wolfsburg, Germany as part of my new employee orientation!

I attended a second interview for a position with the Apple store a few days ago which was really good but very different from the norm (as expected of Apple I suppose). I met some really cool guys who were also in attendance, one of which has since added me on Facebook where we just chat about Apple. It’s really weird actually because I seem to have one set of friends who gush over Apple, and my other group of friends from my Handsworth days seem to really hate them, based on a rather drunken conversation in a bar last night. Anywho, if all went well then I may be doing some part-time hours for Apple at the weekend. People have called me insane for wanting to do a 7 day week but I figured that I spend most of my money at Apple anyway, why not work there and get a discount too?

Gaming

During my rather brief stint of unemployment, boy did I play a helluvalotta games! I beat Halo 3 on Legendary and unlocked most of the achievements with around 180 points left to go. Been playing loads of online games, maybe about an hour each day. I’ve experienced what gamers around the world have referred to as dumbass Americans spoiling the game for everyone; I was in a social match and some guy randomly says “I’m gonna find your mom and fuck her up the ass” to another guy during the match. I had to mute my mic due to my own laughter. Later whilst waiting in the lobby, I heard one guy say “I’m gonna play some Halo!” with another guy shouting “Haloooo!” afterwards. This has now become mine and Khang’s adopted, but still mocking, battlecry whenever we play Halo now. I have played some fantastic random team matches too, especially one where a guy had to go shut his dog up because it was barking at some Jehovahs witnesses that turned up at his door. He left for about 5 minutes, returned to pair up with me and we still won the match! He was duly added to my friends list and my preferred players list.

I’ve beaten Gears of War on hardcore which was still as enjoyable the second time. The difficulty spike is a little cruel in places, where it was down to pure luck which got me through. General Raam at the end didn’t seem anymore difficult than the first time through on normal. I’m convinced the achievements system is broken in the game though; I have the recognition on each individual level on hardcore but not the collective achievement you should get at the end. Sort it out, Epic!

Eternal Sonata became a bit of a sleeper hit for me. I knew very little about the game other than it was a Japanese RPG based on music. I didn’t realise that it was also loosely based on Chopin’s last few hours of his life. It’s a wonderful game which had me glued to my 360 for pretty much 3 days straight but the ending left me cold, turning into a weird preachy spiel about morality. No thank you. The achievements are also borked since you get more points alone for doing one side quest/dungeon than you do for beating the entire game once! Having said that, it still doesn’t detract from the game’s biggest selling point which is the cel-shaded anime art style which has to be the best implementation I have ever seen. It looks glorious in HD and the demo on Live really has to be checked out.

Aber visit

Went to visit Aber for a long weekend where I stayed with James and Keiko. They have a lovely place next to the uni which looks to be a good deal given the facilities. Visited AnimeSoc where I caught up with Gérard and Ste and visited a few locales around the town. Nothing has changed though I couldn’t shake off the feeling that it wasn’t the same town as the one I had left. Many of the people I associate with Aber are no longer there and after this year, there will be virtually nobody there anymore that I’ll know.

Sammy-boy and Mr C.

Sam and Andy (no, I’m not speaking about myself in the third person, this is an Andy I know) paid a visit to Brum yesterday where we all had a good catchup. Sam and I tried out a new Japanese bento restaurant in the Bullring which was lovely; best miso soup I’ve ever had and I’ve had a fair bit in my time! I realy do miss these guys since most of my third year was spent loitering at their house not doing much, chatting over a cup of tea or coffee.

And that’s pretty much it in terms of updates. Expect more Apple related goodness since the iPhone launches on Friday.

Graduation

Well, I’ve finally graduated after five very long years in Aber. The day started off in the wee hours of the morning when I drove to Khang’s house. From there, we drove all the way to Aber with the usual Initial D musical fare as our soundtrack.

We arrived in Aber around 8:30am and went for breakfast. Once finished, we promptly made our way to the arts centre where I attended rehearsals and left Khang to his own devices. Afterwards, I quickly collected my robes and mortarboard and bumped into Hayley who looked lovely in her dress and I collected my parents for my photograph session. Back at the arts centre, we all made our way into the Great Hall where we took our seats. Mark and Khang decided to sit to my right whereas my parents chose to sit towards the back of the hall.

The ceremony itself was pretty damn cool and rather surreal. The reality of the situation doesn’t really hit you until you’re just about to go on stage and being right at the end of the alphabet doesn’t really help things. There was some cool harp music which sounded like it was straight from Final Fantasy VII. I don’t think I’ve ever clapped so much in my life!

There was a mini reception afterwards where I was able to catch up with a few friends. A lady from the BBC asked Neal, Sam and I to pose for a photo which actually did appear on the BBC Wales website earlier today! After the hullabaloo died down, we all made our way down to the Park Lodge hotel where the School of Management & Business held a reception for all of us graduates. I got to say hello to several of my favourite lecturers and staff which was great and also collected my Class of 2007 photo.

Gérard’s house was the next port of call where I dropped off some discs and books for Kasia who’s started learning to drive. We had a bit of a chat about the normal geek stuff and bid the big man farewell.

We headed back to Brum for dinner at TGI Fridays where I bumped into Priya’s sister. We all ate too much as expected… Khang and I made our way back to his house where I discovered that I’d left my car unlocked all day… I was finally introduced to Khang’s friends, Bert and Phan, who as it turns out I’d met before! I made my way home around 11:30pm and fell straight into bed.

It was a fantastic day and I felt tearful at times. Aber has been very good to me throughout the years; it has given me friends for life, an education, romance, and fond memories.

Various photos of the day can be found here and here.